Does anyone else get this sinking feeling in their stomach when their life's work is nothing but something to smirk at? If I manage to keep polite in Lord Sterling's presence it will only be because of wine and faranth's help. The man frustrates me almost as much as these shelling Barlords. I need to start speaking to a few of them I know but the whole idea just makes me bitter and Suval isn't around to slow me down and make some sense. I should have retired already but who would I hand things down to? Adeyn? He hasn't sent me a word in months. I'm stuck keeping our heads above water and likely I'll have to go speak to Ista's soon to be leaders if I plan to keep any favor. Life used to be so much simpler.

I am feelings decidedly missing of many people. Specially monique and lisa and all them who I havn't gotten to see in ages. This is a reminder to them that my apartment is open for visitors, I've got a nifty futon now in the living room so people can actually sleep over and stuff and I have lots of neat craft stuff. In September when I move to the new place I'll actually have patio and woods right outside my door too, very cool. So please comment peoples and let me see you all again, I will be working soon but Wayne isn't and he's good at entertaining.

Ok so it's going to be a busy week ... yesterday was shopping for my outfit for the concert this weekend. Tonight I have the partygals meeting, hope they like the stamps I carved. Tomorrow night is singing practice, Thursday is kind of free but I'll have to pack since the bus leaves Friday for Saratoga. I am so nervous about singing with the Philadelphia Orchestra, it's going to be such a big event. I really wish my parents could have come but at least Wayne will be there. I really like the Mendelssohn Club, they're really nice people and amazing singers, I am looking forward to the trip with them at least. A bit nervous about starting the new job right after coming back, not sure what to wear, or what exactly to bring with me but I think I'll do alright.

As of Tuesday I am engaged and have a job, things suddenly decided that Wayne's birthday was the day to come together and I am very happy. I'll start work the 22nd, which is the week after I get back from singing in Saratoga so it all works out really well. Still so excited.

I really want to keep up with so many things but I just don't have the time or interest anymore. My main place of contact lately has been myspace but with job and living arrangements still somewhat up in the air I'm not the greatest at checking that either. I finally got my act together enough with my party girls distributor thing to get a webpage www.partygals.biz/swinginglees if anyone is interested in going there and picking something up I'll send out a $10 coupon through email or even post the coupon code. Yeah it's in my self interest but at this point I need the money so bad I don't care that it's all up here. That's most of it for now other than my swinging lifestyle which I'm in and out of love with, sometimes it's the best things I've ever experianced and sometimes I feel as if I have no idea what's going on around me and how I got myself into it in the first place. Wayne and I really need to work on some stuff but we're getting along. I certainly hope things all keep running at least as smoothly as they have been, it's rough but I can survive it.

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.

02. I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you.

03. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.

04. Last, i will try to name a single word that best describes you.

05. Put this in your journal pretty please and do the same there.

Stupid old shit is bugging me again, I mean I graduate in one semester, just a few months and I'm all caught up after my visit home in high school crap. I got to see Mark, yay!!! He's still doing good and I'm always happy to have a chance to talk to him, ran into Jimmy in Circuit City, amazing how things have changed. I havn't been able to talk to Scott in god knows how long, I mean we were great friends and he's just tossed it. I've still got Monique, so long as I get over this jealousy thing I have with Wayne. I love him I know he wouldn't cheat on me but I just get jealous of any girl he talks to or spends time with.

Christmas was awsome, got to see all my family, got an awsome IJoy 2 chair from sharper image. Now if only I could stop these damn auras and get Wayne here safe and happy. Both our families managed meltdowns the day before christmas and so we had each other on the phone but I need him here to hug y'know ... And again the auras sucked!!! Had them a whole bunch christmas eve and christmas day, made everyone all worried about me and made me all unable to sleep and function correctly. Go away epilepsy!!!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Gep
2. Midget
3. LeeAnn

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Gepgriff
2. GepardD
3. GepardK

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. artistic
2. intellegent
3. friendly

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. easily distracted
2. anxiety-->siezures
3. A bit self-centered

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. Irish
3. German

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Having a siezure and getting hurt
2. That people will hate me
3. That I won't make it in real life

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Tea
2. Body Spray
3. Lots of pens

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Purple Big Dog Sweatshrit
2. comfy jeans
3. orange leopard print slippers

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists (at the moment)):
1. The Who
2. Seether
3. Green Day

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Pinball Wizard
2. Fine Again
3. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Kirigami
2. Sewing an entire outfit
3. Get my bedroom organized

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP/TYPE OF PERSON YOU'RE LOOKING FOR (love is a given):
1. Equality
2. Balance
3. Humor

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I've gotten fired from all but two jobs I've ever held
2. I was goth in High School
3. I almost got suspended for hitting a girl

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Posture
3. Smile

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T OR WON'T DO:
1. Remember historic dates
2. Not be jealous of the girls Wayne spends time with
3. Be dishonest with people I care about

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Painting
2. Doing puzzles
3. RPing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go to bed
2. Have my room clean
3. Go buy stuff

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Researcher
2. Forensic Technician
3. Teacher

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Ireland
2. Asia
3. Punta Cana

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Rowan Isis Siegwarth
2. Sean Rowan Siegwarth
3. Marie Corinne Siegwarth

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Have a family with Wayne
2. Enjoy my work
3. Enjoy my free time

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. You, yeah you!
2. Her, over there!
3. Umm ... umm ... him ... I guess

(It was painful enough to read this I don't want to force it on someone else.

Holiday shopping still left to do, finals week is here, and of course to top it all off I have auras this week. One right in the middle of class and freaking out my teacher, 'specially since Wayne was stuck in the apartment sick and I couldn't get him to help me out. I'm looking forward to the week or two I'll be home for the holidays but since my parents redid my room it's probably going to nail home the fact that I'm about to be off on my own. Very scary to be all grown up, can I go back a few years and re-do some things? Not change things about how things are going now but change things that happened so I'd have some more good memories to look back on.

I have this insane need to see the new bridget jones movie though I really don't feel like sitting down and watching it. I really want to be out and doing something but I don't know what to do ... get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Well I keep up with what other people are doing but I really should consider posting more myself. I mean I sit at work almost every morning with little to do when we start so I might as well update no? Things are going pretty well other than that dreaded time of the month which leads to me having auras and being nervous and Wayne thinking I'm going to have a full on seizure and not wanting me to do anything but lay down. My parents went to an epilepsy convention sort of thing the other day where they apparently found out a lot. They keep wanting to talk about it online but I'm just not up for conversing that way, I figure I'll talk to them when I'm home for Thanksgiving. They think they've found me a nero-endocrinologist to go see about my epilepsy since it seems to be related to my hormones and there may be a better way to look into it and we better figure it out while I'm still on their health care and not fending for myself quite yet. Wayne and I had a real break through in our relationship this past weekend which is making both of us much happier. We're relaxing a bit about each others faults and trying to be a bit more helpful.

In other news I have to crack down on my painting and get my ass over to the art building much more often then I have been. Like maybe most of Thanksgiving break that I'm here for. I have the keys so it shouldn't be a big deal. I just have so many things I want to do and not all that much time to do it in. Painting should be fun today though, Sabrina is one of the life models and I want to show her the apartment!! She's so cool. Ok, I think that's enough of an update for now. Will try to continue this madness tomorrow.

Well other than the seizure Friday night of course. The tongue hurts and still have some sore muscles, but overall I'm feeling pretty good. No arguments with Wayne, so no depression stuff about that ... gotta get some painting done this week/weekend, start work on a paper, but things are doing pretty well. I finally figured out who I'd have as a 'maid' of honor if I had to choose this minute, Wayne would ask me all the time and I guess it got stuck in my mind. I'd ask the person I think I'm closest to besides Wayne, my friend Matt M. here. I'd like to bring it up to him at some point because I can imagine him feeling it's too girly and getting all yuck about it. It's funny that just a week after I came to that conclusion a friend of mine asked if I wanted to be a bridesmaid for her wedding which isn't for another year or so ... I think. Time is going by WAY to quickly for me.

In other news I have become obsessed with these nonogram puzzles, search and go check them out. I got a book of them which has been keeping me more than occupied. I will have to put it away at some point. Anyway I think that's about it. Felt good to have a positive update this time around.

Yeah yeah free ipod thing ... here's my link http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=9151315 Did the blockbuster thing ... like DVD's anyway.

I'm finally moved in! This apartment is awsome! A huge living room, dining room, kitchen, and a GREAT master bedroom. I am soo soo soo happy right now and figured for once that was a good reason to post here.

http://www.dailyjolt.com/jointhecause/?s=Ursinus+College

Go there and put your email address so you get an email when my college's daily jolt site starts! I need 45 people to sign up and I have very little contact with any students back at the college until I actually get there and I won't be doing that for a bit yet. So help me out? No spam will come of it just one email. You don't need to fill out the whole name and address part since it's if you want to get further involved. Thanks!!!